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Michelle Gottlieb Psy.D., MFT, LPCC
Individual, Couple and Family Therapy
Resolving issues from your past that block your future

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A Good Mother’s Day

May 2006

Mother’s Day. A day according to Hallmark that we all get together to lovingly shower our mother with presents and badly made breakfasts to show her how much we love her. How many of you have had Mother’s Days like that? Probably not many of you.

The reality is that Mother’s Day, like most other holidays these days, is so crowded with expectations and worries and hurts that no one enjoys it. So, here is a typical scenario. A young mother wakes up with an image generated by all those Hallmark ads. Her husband may have the kids organized to do something, but not everything in the image, so the young mom is disappointed. But, no lollygagging in bed! She needs to get up and go to her mother’s house for the traditional Mother’s Day brunch. But before the family can really relax and get comfortable, it is time to pack up the kids and drive across town to have Mother’s Day dinner with her mother-in-law. At the end of the day, the family gets back home, tired, grumpy and everyone swearing that next year we are doing this differently! Does that sound familiar to everyone?
So, perhaps we can do it differently this year. Why do we need to celebrate only on one day? Why can’t we spread it out over the weekend? Do the traditional Mother’s Day dinner on Saturday night. Do the brunch on Sunday, but keep the time short. Then take the rest of the day so that the young mom gets a day for herself. But in order to have the day that she wants, she needs to tell her husband exactly what she wants.
Now, how does that sound? An impossible dream? Why? Because it has never been done? Because it is breaking traditions? Time to start new traditions! Traditions that everyone can honestly enjoy! Have your husband talk with his mother. You talk with yours. Promise to switch who gets Sunday next year if this is a problem. Tell all the moms involved that everyone deserves a good relaxing day.
So create the Mother’s Day that you want. And enjoy your day!

 

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