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Michelle Gottlieb Psy.D., MFT, LPCC
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Be Honest

February 2013

Are you honest with your spouse? Seriously, do you share with your partner if there is something bothering you? Or do you keep it to yourself and say “If he loved me, he would know what was bothering me!” or “It is really not that important. I am going to just ignore it.”

Both responses are problematic. If you believe that your partner can read your mind if he really loved you, then you are in for some serious disappointment. I do not care how much your partner loves you, he cannot read your mind. He may (or may not) be able to tell if you are upset, but that is the end of his magical powers. If you want him to truly understand what is going on inside of you, then you must talk with him about it.

If you are always discounting how important your discomfort is, then you are also putting your relationship at risk. While it is true that there are minor things in our relationships that can be irritating and do not merit a discussion, if it is an on-going irritant, or a bigger issue, then you must talk with your partner. It is unreasonable to think that she will change if she does not know that there is a problem.

The bottom-line here is that if you want your relationship to stay healthy, you must have good, honest, tactful communication with your partner. Go ahead, take the risk. Who knows? Things might get better!

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