February 2003

Have you ever had anyone in your life that you were really angry at, but there was no appropriate way to express your anger? Or, perhaps a better way to put it, there was no way to express your anger that felt really satisfying? We have all come across situations like that. And whether it is your boss who is driving you crazy and to confront him would put your job in jeopardy or it is a neighbor who appears incapable of hearing anything that you need to say, these situations come up in our lives.

So what do we do when confronted with this situation? First, vent! Vent to your partner, co-workers, friends, neighbors, family, anyone who will listen. Second, figure out if there is a course of action that would be safe and suitable to do. Perhaps you could talk with your boss’s boss or Human Resources. Perhaps you could enlist another neighbor or friend to help facilitate communication. Perhaps you could even write a letter.

But sometimes there truly is nothing that you can do to impact the situation. When that is the case, you need to find a way to disperse your anger in so that it does not damage you or anyone that you care about. Again, vent! Just by talking about it can help you decrease the energy around the situation. Then look at what other ways have helped you in the past. Exercise, if okay with your medical doctor, is always effective, as can be gardening, journaling, hitting a ball or yelling into a pillow. There are many different ways to release your anger. Experiment and find a way that works for you. If you are extremely angry, you may have to do several different techniques until your anger has diminished.

Remember, take care of yourself first, and you will be able to handle whatever life hands you!