June 2011

Have you noticed that when you were in school, all of your friends were about your age? When you became part of a couple, most of your friends were also part of a couple? When you became a parent, most of your friends also were parents? We tend to have friends that are at the same stage of life that we are in. We also tend to have friends that are approximately the same level of mental health that we have. A common discussion that I have with the people that I work with is their wondering why they are losing their friends even though they are getting healthier.

As we get healthier, our old friends may not feel comfortable with us; they may not know how to relate to us anymore. We may be asking them to change behaviors that they have no wish to change. A good example is if you have decided to no longer drink yet most of your friends drink. They may say that they support your stopping, yet they keep offering you a drink. Or suggest that you take just one because it is not a big deal. This behavior does not mean that they want you to fail. It simply means that they are uncomfortable and don’t know how to handle it.

Some friends come with us on our journey. Some do not. Do not be angry with those who do not come with us; it is not their journey. You will meet more people along your way that are a better fit for where you are today. And tomorrow there will be more new people. Appreciate the people who came with you on different parts of your journey. They helped you. You helped them. Now it is time to help someone else.

But whatever you do, do not stop the journey!