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Michelle Gottlieb Psy.D., MFT, LPCC
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Goodbye, My Friend

January 2013

Scott died. Even though that happened almost three weeks ago, it still doesn’t seem real. I have written about Scott Boliver in this column before. Scott, as you may remember, had been fighting cancer and the insurance companies. He won most of his battles. His last big battle was in June when he went through an incredibly extensive 15 hour surgery that totally removed the cancer from his body. Scott was, after all that fighting, cancer free! But something happened. We are not sure what. Perhaps all of these battles weakened his body too much. Perhaps his body could not take another battle. However, his spirit was amazingly strong. That never changed.

I have known Scott since high school. We went to college together. We went to the same synagogue. We had the same set of friends. We were in private practice together. We both were passionate about endurance sports. In fact we were discussing doing a half marathon sometime this year together. Scott was a running coach who was very much beloved in his running community.

Scott was a father with three teenage children who miss their father more than can be said. He was a loving and involved father who put his children’s needs as a top priority. Scott was a husband. He and Dolly had a love match. I saw them work together to solve problem after problem. When one struggled, the other would step up and take over.

Scott, as we would say in Yiddish, was a mensch, a genuinely good guy. He would always help others. Even as he was fighting cancer, he was always reaching out to others to help them in their battles. The world has lost a special and valuable human. The world is poorer for not having Scott in it.

I walk in the office thinking of something that I want to discuss with Scott. I want to get his opinion, his take on something. Then I remember that I do not get to do that anymore. Then I remember that I never again get one of his amazing hugs. Then I remember that his wife no longer has her life partner, that his children no longer have a father, that his parents no longer have their oldest son, that his siblings no longer have a brother, that so many of us have a hole in our hearts that represents our loss of Scott.

This man touched the hearts of literally thousands of people. Scott is mourned by so many. We need to remember all that he brought to all of us. He was an amazing, loving gift of a human. My life is better for having known him. Scott, I love you. Wherever you are, keep slaying dragons!

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