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Michelle Gottlieb Psy.D., MFT, LPCC
Individual, Couple and Family Therapy
Resolving issues from your past that block your future

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Happy Valentine’s

February 2011

Valentine’s is such a special day. It is a day that we are forced, um, no, coerced. No, that isn’t it either. Encouraged to show our love! Yes, Valentine’s Day is a holiday that has been mass marketed to such a degree that we feel that we have no choice but to show our love how special they are to us by spending boatloads of money. If we do not have a significant other, than it is mandatory to find someone, anyone, to share the evening with.

Why is this made-up holiday so important to us? If this is the only day of the year that you get love or affection flowing your way, then there are more important issues to work on than planning a big Valentine’s Day celebration. It is time to work on your relationship to improve communication and being clear as to what your needs are. If your Valentine is not willing to make some compromises to help you create some happiness in your life, you don’t need a dinner reservation; you need to see a therapist!

If you have a healthy relationship, then you need to ask yourself if this date really has any meaning to you. It is important to celebrate your love every day, not just February 14th. Some dates are pushed on us but may not really mean anything. If nothing special happened on the 14th of February, then why celebrate it? Instead, celebrate the day you told your partner that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her, the day you told your husband that you were pregnant, or just the day you woke up turned over and was so happy to find your partner lying there!

The bottom line is to celebrate your love every day; that is what will keep it vibrant and growing. If you wait for just once a year, your relationship is not in a healthy state.  Celebrate your partnership. Tell your significant other that you love her. Give him a back rub. Bring home a flower just because it is a Monday. And don’t forget to say I love you every day!!

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