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Michelle Gottlieb Psy.D., MFT, LPCC
Individual, Couple and Family Therapy
Resolving issues from your past that block your future

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Life Goes On
People die. Sometimes too young. Sometimes suddenly. Sometimes it is when we do expect it, at the end of a very long life, surrounded by family, at peace with the dying process. But the bottom-line, is that we all die. There is no other option.I have had, unfortunately, many people I love die and have learned many lessons. The first is a very practical lesson. No matter how young you are, be sure that all your paperwork is in order. Have a will or trust in place. If you do not, your survivors will have a very rough time at a period in their life when they do not need the extra stress. Do you have life insurance? If not, please get some. Do not wait. It is a precious gift that you can give to your family. Make sure that you have a document that someone or someones that you trust know where to find it that has all your passwords, including to your phone and computer.

We do not want to face the idea that we will die so we often live with our heads in the sand. Perhaps if I do not make a will, I do not have to face the reality of my death. Again, there is no other option. You will die. But you can make it easier on your family by having the practical issues taken care of.

Now the emotional issues that arise. If someone is old and had a good life, we usually have an easier time accepting their death. We still miss them, but we accept this as part of life. We cry but can move forward. It is those unexpected deaths that are so very difficult. We are not prepared. It does not make sense. It is not fair. We rage against whatever Being we believe in. We get angry at the person who had the gall to die (a perfectly normal reaction). We wonder how we can possibly go on without our loved one. We have to re-define ourselves without that person in our lives. We have to grieve. And grieve. And grieve.

It is not easy. And it takes time. There ae many tears that are involved. And yelling. And fear. And many other emotions. All of that is okay and normal, as are many more feelings.

The bottom-line is that life goes on, even when we don’t want it to. Take the time to heal yourself. Remember all the gifts that you received from that person being in your life. Take one step forward. The next step will come.

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