November 2013

We often think that we know what the people in our lives are thinking or feeling. We are often quite sure that we know the history of our family. But we see the world through skewed lens. Do not assume that your perspective is the completely accurate one.

I recently was working with a client who remembered a fairly traumatic event from his childhood. When he questioned his mother about it, he received a great deal of information that changed the meaning of the event. I encourage you, if you have someone that you can trust, to talk to people who may have experienced the same events and get their perspectives. You may learn valuable information. It may not necessarily make the event any better, but you will gain from the conversation.

The same goes with assuming that you know what is inside someone else’s head, no matter how much you love that person. Another example, I was working with another client who did not want to put out his partner by asking her to come with him to visit his parents. Turned out her feelings were hurt by not being asked!