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Michelle Gottlieb Psy.D., MFT, LPCC
Individual, Couple and Family Therapy
Resolving issues from your past that block your future

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July 2005


Relationships ebb and flow. Sometimes you feel close to your partner; sometimes you cannot stand him or her. I think that we have forgotten this. In all of the Hollywood movies that we watch, we think that is reality. That when we kiss our partner, we will see stars and fireworks and hear music forever. “And they lived happily ever after.”

Well, we don’t. We get tired and grumpy and PMS-y and have kids and money problems. Sometimes, we wake up in the morning, turn over, look at our partner and think, “Why did I marry him or her?” Then, in this throwaway society, we say to ourselves, “Okay, time for a divorce.”

I am going to suggest another alternative. Assuming that your marriage is not abusive, why not hold on. Trust that the love is still there. Work on telling your spouse how you feel. Work on finding ways to be happy, both as a couple and by yourself. Make sure that you have time to be a couple.

If we do that, often what happens, is we wake up, roll over, and say to ourselves, “I am so happy I married this person!” Relationships ebb and flow.


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