(714) 879-5868, ext. 5
drmichelle@michellegottlieb.com
drmichelle@michellegottlieb.com
Michelle Gottlieb Psy.D., MFT, LPCC
Individual, Couple and Family Therapy
Resolving issues from your past that block your future
Column
The Anti-Resolution
December 2005
I hate New Year’s resolutions, and I never make them. Why do I hate them? There is an expectation that everyone needs to make resolutions even if we are not ready or in the right mental state to make them. Then we, of course, do not keep to the resolution so we get to feel guilty and beat ourselves up.
I heard about a woman recently who weighed over 500 pounds. She decided it was time to lose weight and do so. She now weighs 160. She did it without surgery or special diets. She also very deliberately decided not to start her modifications of how she ate on New Year’s or a Monday. She didn‘t want to put that extra pressure on herself of trying to stick to a New Year’s resolution.
We all have things that we need to work on. We all have areas that we need to improve on. But no one can tell us when it is the right time to do so. Only we know when we are ready. If you quit smoking because someone tells you that you have to, you will start smoking again. If, on the other hand, you have noticed an impact on your health and how your daughter won’t snuggle with you while you are smoking, you will decide on your own that it is time. Your chance of success will go up dramatically.
Why set yourself up to fail? If you know you are not ready, do not make a resolution.
If, however, you are the type of person who does well with big dates, then make a resolution that you are ready to make on New Year’s. Just don’t get annoyed if I do not do the same!