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Michelle Gottlieb Psy.D., MFT, LPCC
Individual, Couple and Family Therapy
Resolving issues from your past that block your future

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The Real You

May 2009

I am embracing my inner curl. I have always had wavy hair. After having my kids, my hair got curly. I would blow dry my hair every day to make it straight, which would take a very long time; although, I did get a lot of the newspaper read while I was doing it. I finally decided that I no longer wanted to waste my time trying to make my hair into something it is not, so I embraced my curls. It now takes me 5 minutes to get my hair done.

So, why should you care about my hair? Think about all ways that you try to force yourself and your body into doing something that is not natural to you. Whether that is a job that is not you, a relationship that you are not happy in, or even clothes that really should fit, but really do not. We do this all the time to ourselves. We do not accept who we are. We want to be someone else. I wanted straight hair because when I was a teenager that was what was “cool”. My hair will never be straight. You put yourself in a relationship that you shouldn’t be in because your relatives tell you how lucky you are to have that person as a partner. You will never be happy.

As I have embraced my curls, you need to embrace the real you. It may take you awhile to figure out who you are. It took me a long time to know that I had curls. Experiment with different ways of being, of reacting, even the size clothes you wear until you find what truly fits you.

The most amazing thing is that ever since I have embraced my curly hair, I get more compliments on my hair than I ever have before. I would not be surprised if, as you embrace the real you, if you get more compliments than you have ever gotten, too! (This column was suggested by the staff at the Villa. Thank you!)

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