April 2003

There is nothing better as a parent than to watch your child doing well. We love seeing our children hit the winning run, write the prize-winning essay or get straight A’s. This may be even more exciting when our children are doing something that we were never able to achieve. And that is what we need to be careful of.

Our children are not extensions of ourselves. They are not our chance to get it right this time. Our children are their own unique people. They have their own likes and dislikes. They have their own skills and their own areas that they are not as successful in.

We need to be aware of what we want for our kids versus what our children want for themselves. This can be very difficult. Perhaps we were athletes growing up and what our children to feel that same excitement. Perhaps we always wanted to be an athlete, but we never had the aptitude. This is the time to put aside your wants and really look at your child. If you are more excited than your kid is about going to Little League, perhaps it is time to quit baseball. If you are putting more effort in their music lessons than they are, perhaps it is time to ask what they want to do.

We only get to be children once. Allow your children the opportunity to have the childhood that they want. It is a significant gift that you are giving.