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Michelle Gottlieb Psy.D., MFT, LPCC
Individual, Couple and Family Therapy
Resolving issues from your past that block your future

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Time to Praise

October 2011

When we work hard, it feels wonderful to have someone say, “Good job!” However, there isn’t always someone there. And even if there were, that person may not understand that we accomplished is a big deal to us. So what is the solution? Learn to praise ourselves!

For many people, it is very difficult to tell ourselves that we are proud. We can easily tell our partners, our children, our co-workers. But somehow it is rude and obnoxious to tell ourselves that we did good. Now, I agree, if we walk around constantly telling everyone that we meet how wonderful we are, that is annoying. But that is not what I am talking about. The kind of self-praise that I am encouraging is quieter and more private.

Finish something that you are proud of, perhaps you made dinner on a crazy night, or you ran farther than you ever have or you finished that huge project on time, then quietly, to yourself, say, “I am proud of you.” Take a moment to feel what that is like. Sit with that sensation for just a minute. Then go on with your day. You may be amazed to notice the difference that will make. You make feel more positive, more energized, more able to tackle the next project.

You may be lucky enough to have people in your life who do praise you; however, they do not always know what you find important to praise. They may congratulate you for something you find trivial  and ignore the truly-to you-important things. The does not mean that they are mean. It just means that they cannot read your mind. So, once again, the solution is to praise yourself.

Try this for a week, where every day you praise yourself at least once daily. Notice what happens. And enjoy it!!

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