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Michelle Gottlieb Psy.D., MFT, LPCC
Individual, Couple and Family Therapy
Resolving issues from your past that block your future

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Torn Between Two Lovers

December, 2000


Dear Michelle:

I have two men in my life. Both are wrong for me–and both are right for me. This is the third time I’ve gotten myself in a situation like this. I tend to always have two relationships going at once. Why? I don’t know. It just seems to happen. Part of me likes it this way–I have the power and control. The other part of me feels miserable for lying. Why do I do this?


Torn Between Two Lovers


Dear Torn,


It sounds like you may have a fear of intimacy. You do not need to worry about getting too close to anybody when you are playing two men against each other. You need to seriously look at the idea if you are available to be in a truly intimate relationship. If the answer is yes, but you still keep doing this than you have some sort of block regarding intimacy. Blocks on intimacy can be based on many different things, everything from your parents having a bad relationship to having your own heart broken. Sort looking at you. If you need some help, ask friends what they see about you. (Be sure to pick friends who are both safe and honest.)


Have an honest journey,



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