March 2012

How safe do you feel with your partner? Do you share who you are with him or her? Does your partner know your deepest, darkest secrets? If you have not truly shared yourself with your life partner, you need to explore why. Now, I am not talking about sharing with someone that you just started dating, or even the person that you have been dating for a while, but the person that you are committed to for the rest of your life. The question to ask is to you trust that person, totally, completely?

Many of us have married people that we do not trust enough to share who we truly are. We are fearful that if our partners saw the real us, they would leave, abandon us, no longer love us. What is interesting is that our partners may be having the same fears. If you can reach out a little, your partner may be able to reach back. As you slowly start to share your fears, notice what your partner does. Does he or she begin to share his/her fears with you? You may find that you can create some real intimacy.

On the other hand, if you have actually married a person that is not safe for you to be honest with, you need to explore why. Do you feel that you are not worthy? Do you need to protect yourself? Are you so ashamed of who you are that you cannot reveal yourself? These are issues that can be worked on. I encourage you to find a good therapist to help you through these areas that are blocking you. We all deserve love. All of us!

It is permissible to have love and intimacy from your partner. Allow yourself to create it.