January 2011

Words hurt. Words can cause a wound. A deep wound. That wound can cause a scar. A scar that can cause difficulty in life from that point on.

Sometimes when we fight, we throw out hurtful words. Words that we do not actually mean but in the heat of the moment, we use to hurt someone.  And that hurt is profound because we do not forget those words and the wound deepens.

We can begin to collect wounds and scars. Some come from our childhood being told that we are not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough. Then as we get older, we get told that we are not loved or wanted by someone we love or want. We get threatened with abandonment. The wound deepens. The scar thickens.

When we become parents, those wounds and scars often interfere with our ability to love our children in a healthy way, so we pass on those scars and wounds to the next generation. And then they do the same, as do their children.

But there is hope. We have a choice. It is not mandatory to inflict pain. Before you speak in anger or hurt, stop. Take a breath. Think. Think about what you really want to say. What is really true for you, not just about hurting the person in front of you. Teach your children the same skill. Instead of wounds, let’s pass on love.