In general, I tell the couples that I work with never to make assumptions about what their partners are thinking or feeling or wanting. If you truly want to know something, ask your partner. Then act according to what they tell you.

However, there are some healthy assumptions that I encourage clients to make. Assume that your partner loves you. If we hold that assumption to be a truth, it can make some of those annoying behaviors less annoying. My partner is not trying to hurt me, because he or she loves me. This is a healthy assumption.

Assume that you are on the same team and have the same goals. If you are on a basketball team, you walk in with the assumption that every member of your team is wanting to score baskets for your side, not the other side. Hold that same assumption with your relationship partner. We want to win together, not defeat my own teammate.

Assume that your partner wants you to be happy. Again, if we are all on the same side and if my partner loves me, then of course, he or she is happy when I am happy. The one caveat to all of this is if you are in an abusive relationship. These assumptions then may not be true nor safe to have.

Try assuming good things about your partner. It may change everything!