Any feeling that you have is perfectly okay and normal. Absolutely and completely. However, the same cannot be said for expressing those feelings. Many people have the idea that if I give full expression to my emotions, I will feel better. That is actually not accurate. We all get angry. That is normal. If we allow ourselves to escalate to yelling, swearing, hitting, it does not decrease our anger. It actually escalates us more.

Healthy ways to deal with your anger include taking a breath or even better, a break. Yelling or screaming, calling names or physical violence do not solve anything. Those actions simply increase the hurt and decrease the communication. Instead, if you are hurt or angry, stop. Center yourself. See what it is that you truly want to communicate. Calmly talk to the person. Agree to disagree if necessary. Hitting the person never ever ever solves anything. Nor does it prove your point.

It feels like many of us have forgotten the simple rules of communication. If you disagree with someone, do not call them names. Do not denigrate them. If you choose this behavior, you are confirming that nothing will ever be resolved. Instead, listen to the opposition’s points. Be willing do respectfully debate.

If the person that you are dealing with chooses not to abide by these rules, do not go to their level. It solves nothing. Disengage. Find someone else with whom you can have a thoughtful conversation.

While these rules obviously apply to our political landscape now, they also apply to how to communicate with friends, co-workers, family and children. Being cordial is not a weakness; it is a strength.