What would happen if you accepted your loved ones for who they are, not who you want them to be? How would that change things for you? For them? For your relationships?

Whether it is our partners or our children, we have an image of what we want them to be. We often hear people saying that they married their partner for their potential. Not who they are now, but how they see their being in the future.

As soon as our children are born, or sometimes earlier, we begin to talk about our hopes and dreams for who and what they will become. We have thoughts about their career choices, future daughters-or sons-in-law and, of course, our future grandchildren.

However, very rarely do people turn out the way that we want or expect. Most of us, when pressed, can admit that the bottom-line for us is for the people that we love to be happy. This is true, but we would also like them to a doctor or a lawyer! I once heard a mother say, “But couldn’t you be just as happy marrying a rich man?” Yes, we do want them to be happy; however, we may have a different idea of what makes someone happy.

If, on the other hand, you can accept that what your partner or child says, if you can accept that they are happy, you may find that they can relax more around you. You may find that your relationship is much less stressed. You may find that you can enjoy being around each other. You may find that your relationship improves markedly.

If someone says they are happy, respond with joy. Not a suggestion on how they can be happy according to your definition. Then notice how everyone gets happier!