What scares you? Why does it scare you? What do you need to overcome these fears?

These are significant questions. Often the things that scare us, stop us from moving forward and creating successes in our lives. We can see where we want to go, but fear stops us. We may have many thoughts. “I cannot do this” or “I am not worthy of this” or “I am a failure” or “I am defective or incompetent or broken”. There are many variations of these themes. We may have a history of others telling us that we will never succeed. We may have experienced attempting and not succeeding, over and over again. Then those messages get embedded even more deeply.

However, just because you have had these experiences does not mean that you are doomed to repeat them for your entire life. You can achieve your goals. It is possible. You have to change some things, however. In the process of setting up the change, I recommend that you work with a good friend who can give you honest feedback in a loving and supportive way. We cannot see ourselves objectively.

 You need to set realistic goals. You may not know what is realistic for yourself. You may set goals that are too high, or too low. Work with your friend to help set achievable goals. Now, break down the steps to get there. Do you need more education? Childcare? Financial support? A new skill set? More available time? You want small, readily achievable steps so that you are not setting yourself up for failure.

As you begin the process, be aware of those negative messages that you are giving yourself-or others may be giving to you. Go back to your good friend and explore if there is any truth to any of these messages. Notice the successes that you are achieving. Begin to consciously change those messages. You can do this. It will take time and consistency, but you can do it.

 As you continue along your journey, you will stumble and fall. That is normal and expected. Analyze what happened. What can you learn from the stumble? What can you do differently? Pick yourself up and continue on. You can do this!

 As you continue forward, occasionally look back and see how far you have come. You will be amazed. Take the time to congratulate yourself. This is a lot of work, and you are doing it! Be proud of yourself!

And always, take the time to enjoy the journey!