I was in a situation where I was observing a baby sitting in a car seat while the parents were both looking at their phones. This little one was less than a year old. She clearly was trying to get her parents’ attention. She was cooing at them and reaching towards them. However, the parents never took their eyes off their phones. I made eye contact with the little one and began to talk to her and smile at her. AS the baby began to coo at me, the parents looked up, for a minute, then went back to their phones.

I cannot tell you how upsetting this was for me. Children need to feel safely attached to their caregivers in order to be able to deal with the world in a healthy manner. They need to be held. They need to be told how wonderful they are. Their parents need to be attuned to their child’s needs to increase that feeling of safety. Children who do not have their emotional needs met often will make very unhealthy choices later on with people, sex, drugs or the very many other unhealthy ways that we try to get our needs met.

I understand that the small screen is a very strong pull. I have been known to spend too much time in front of it as well. However, people are more important than your phone or Facebook or Instagram. Babies take time and energy. Your children need to be your highest priority. Yes, you, of course, get to take care of yourself as well. You need to. But you chose to be a parent. It is your responsibility to do a good job. If you do not know what a good job entails, reach out and get an education and help.

But most importantly, put down your phone. Look your child in the eye. Talk with them. Sing to them. Read books together. Do art. It doesn’t matter! But tune into your kid and let them know how much you love them! It is so worth it!